Personal 9/11 Reflections

I would imagine, it’s virtually impossible for anyone who is old enough to remember 9/11, not to think about it today. Not to mention the fact that it’s all over the media. Just like other catastrophic events in history, most people can remember what they were doing on that day. I remember when I was growing up, I used to hear people talk about what they were doing on the day John F. Kennedy was shot. I was only four years old then, so his assassination didn’t really have an impact on me until I learned about it later in school. I have a thirteen year old son who is living out that same scenario. His whole life however, has been affected more from this event. Our kids never knew you didn’t have to take your shoes off to go through airport security. That’s just how it is for them. It used to be, when we heard about terrorism, it was always a world away. We have always been safe within the borders of the United States.

I think what bothers me the most about 9/11 is, the prejudice that has come out of it. Fortunately we don’t hear as much about it, so maybe people have learned that just because men and women of other cultures dress differently doesn’t make them terrorists. There will always people who are prejudice against others just because they are different. What is sad, is that even if we don’t want to admit it, 9/11 has caused most people to feel some form of suspicion toward people of the Islam faith. I hope by now most people have learned that these terrorist are the extremists. Granted, Al Qaeda is a very large group of extremists, but whenever I hear prejudice comments toward people of the Islam faith as a whole, it makes me think about other groups who have extremists associated with them. For example, “Christian” people who kill abortion doctors. “Christian” people who are willing to burn piles of another faith’s bible (Quran).  One thing that shocked me the most in the past ten years, was, in 2004 when Cat Stevens was not allowed in this country because he was on the Terrorist Watch List, and on the No Fly List. I don’t know of anyone who has had a more peaceful nature, but since his name is now Yusaf Islam, that made him suspicious.

Yahoo has a section now called 9/11 Profiles. That is why I started thinking about this. There is a picture of a lady wearing a Hijab, the traditional Muslim headwear. The caption on her picture says “We are Americans.” This country has always been called “The melting pot” because we accept or allow anyone and everyone to live here –as long as they become legal citizens. The sad thing is everyone is allowed, not everyone is accepted.

If the Christian extremists I mentioned earlier would live the lesson “Love one another” taught by Jesus, if we treat each other with kindness taught in Taoism and most other religions, would we really have the violence we have. Most wars are fought over religion, and that just seems so contradictory to me. On the right side of this blog it says, I believe there is so much we can learn from each other, that is very hard to do when our minds are filled with prejudice and hatred.

As we remember the events that happened ten years ago today. Let’s remember how America was united, and like the lady in the hijab, we’re all Americans and we can all learn from each other.

Thank you for reflecting with me,

Paul             

Dreams

To start things off I’d like to share a link with you. This is what has been keeping me busy for a while http://www.batalugu.com/v.php?bid=620&key=0979cf694b093c18b2dfe573f2ea088c85d16dd1. It is my biggest book project so far. Check it out let me know what you think.

My thoughts for this entry have been brewing over the past week and a half or so. A few of weeks ago I finished the book associated with the link above. The guys over at the website have been debating whether to make the books available on PDF or just have the books available to order in hard cover. They sent me a PDF file so I could print it off and give my feedback. It wasn’t until I actually saw it printed on paper that I realized how much it means to people to have a dream fulfilled. Now, this was in no way a finished book. It was a very raw copy. Printed from my printer with standard printer paper. I didn’t even realize that having a book printed would create the emotion inside of me that it did. I never even considered being an author a dream. I have always liked to write and make up stories but getting published never really crossed my mind. Just about every other day since I printed that book I have seen or heard something related to fulfilling your dreams. One was in a movie. One of the characters asked another “What is your dream, what do you want?” Another was in a magazine that asked the question “Is what you’re doing for a living, what you’re called to do?” The latest was the weirdest. Just a couple of hours ago I had a Dove chocolate candy. If you’re not familiar with Dove candies, they have a little saying on the wrapper. I’m not sure about the big candy bars, but the little round ones do. Well, the one I had said “Get out there and make your dreams happen.” I had been thinking about using this as a topic for a blog entry, but once I saw that, I knew I needed to.

My question I like to ask everyone is basically what I saw in the magazine. Is what you’re doing for a living, what you’re called to do? Sometimes we can’t help it. Writing right now won’t pay my bills, now that I have recognized that as a dream I’d like to fulfill, I can work toward that goal. Are you doing what you love? I have always loved kids. I knew I was called to be a husband, father, and provider. I now have six kids, so I didn’t really focus on profession as long as I provided for my family. Now that I have experienced what it feels like to know what you want to be when you grow up, I’d like to encourage everyone to realize that dream before you’re well into your adult years.

Think about the things you like to do. As you think back over the years, do you keep putting something on the “back burner” only to start it up again.

Take a little time. Find a quiet space. Pray for guidance if you would be inclined to do so. Search the desire of your heart. Reignite that passion, and as my Dove candy said. “Get out there and make your dreams happen.” It will feel like a major weight has been lifted off of you.

Thanks for continuing this search with me,

Paul.

What Makes You Happy?

The other morning I was watching a movie after I got home from work. You know, winding down, getting ready for bed. I had seen this particular movie was on before, but I had the willpower to change the channel. Maybe I was ready to have something to eat and veg, but whatever the reason, I watched this movie called "Honey." It was along the lines of Dangerous Minds, Sister Act, or any other movie you can think of where someone comes in to save the inner city youth. I don't mean to seem cynical, or uncaring, the movie was just predictable. It ended up being pretty good, but still predictable. Regarding the uncaring tone, I'm actually the opposite. I am really bothered by kids that have to live on the streets dealing drugs, and don't get a chance to be kids. Check out the movie. Yeah it's a chick flick, but if you don't admit it to the world like I just did nobody will ever know.

My main reason for admitting this is, there was a line in the movie that has stuck with me. Jessica Alba was talking to the guy that ended up becoming her boyfriend, her dreams of starting a dance studio for the kids were fading. He was giving her a pep talk, and he asked her, "What makes you happy?"

I guess that doesn't necessarily mean that has to be your profession. But, do you do what makes you happy. I've said here before I will continue to do this until I feel like I am supposed to move on to something else. My posts here have gotten even less frequent because I have been writing under the pen name Andrew Pearson, over at www.batalugu.com. Check me out if you haven't already.

Think about it. Really think. What do you like to do? What comes easy for you? What satisfies you? My whole adult life I have been a provider, and I like that. I also like to write, but I was so focused on the provider part of me, I didn't take time to look at the other things that make me happy. Spending "real" time with my kids, instead of being a workaholic, creating characters, and getting lost in a story, is what makes me happy these days. I still have a job that I like, that pays the bills, and allows the kids and I to do fun things, but it is the kids, and the writing, that is my source of happiness.

What's Yours?

Thanks for pondering this with me

Don't Forget The Rearview Mirror

Since we're in between the two holidays let me start off by saying Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Just so there is no misunderstanding, let me begin this train of thought by saying, Christmas with my kids and grandkids is always a time I love and cherish, and this year was no different. My Christmas Eve this year had a extra added bonus. It also gave me a lot to think about. In the writing world, a lot of advice people are giving these days is to get involved in the social media. It allows you to plug into other writers, agents, publishers, etc. It also gets your name out to the public. So, over the past few months I've gotten a little more involved in Facebook. What started as a marketing tool, has suddenly had a very personal affect on me.

A few days before Christmas I was bouncing around Facebook and saw a friend I hadn't talked to in a very long time. Like 30 years long. He sent back the confirmation. On Christmas Eve I saw he was online, so I contacted him and we got together on the phone. We talked for over an hour, which didn't come close to getting us caught up, but it was a good visit. We hit the high points, family, careers, activities, etc. One thing he asked me really stuck with me. He said "Man, where have you been, you just kind of fell off of the planet." I had never really thought about it before. We tend to get so caught up in moving forward with life, it's almost like tunnel vision. If we don't take the time to knock out the walls of the tunnel, we miss a lot of the important things. I saw a sign the other day. You know, the billboard philosophers you see around town. It said "Don't look back unless you want to go that way." Well, that may be true in some cases, like if you're still burning oil lamps (which I don't remember by the way) instead of hooking up electricity. I say, don't forget to look in the rearview mirror once in a while. If you don't look back periodically, or even sideways outside of your immediate circle, you are possibly depriving yourself of some of the most meaningful times in your life. In this day and age when we have to have our schedules readily available on our cell phones just to keep up, it is hard to get together in person sometimes, but a quick note in social media could make someones day. I know it really was an added bonus to my Christmas Eve. Don't forget to check the rearview mirror.

Make someones day next year, Paul

The Other Side Of The Edge

I've seen the other side of the edge, now I just have to figure out how to go over the edge. As you know, I've had a couple of posts recently where I've mentioned some things going on in my head. It has to do with some little visions, or flashes of thoughts that I just haven't been able to explain. The first line of the Declaration Of Independence have been coming to mind for some strange reason, and how I wondered if it was going to be part of a story lurking in the back of my mind that was going to finally come together. In those posts I talked about how I hoped it would all come together while on vacation. Well, I think it did, kind of. It wasn't part of a story, but it has left me with the motivation to pursue an idea I've had for my stories.

The visions were sentimental/emotional flashes of being back in Florida. The moment we walked off the plane and I could see the palm trees through the windows of Orlando International I felt a sense of relief. I knew the vision question had been answered. I had been away too long. I needed to be there, for me, for the experience for my kids. They are growing up in South Dakota, and that's a clean, wholesome lifestyle, but I also want them to experience the culture I grew up in. As I think about it, our lives are reversed. They don't know winter without snow and frigid cold. I didn't even see snow 'til I was 16, and it didn't even cover the grass, but we made a snowman anyway.

If you remember, the Declaration Of Independence starts out by saying "When in the course of human events..." Well, it basically goes on to say that the new America is separating themselves from England. I think our trip was the opposite. Everyone I talked to thought it was so weird that the kids mom and I would go on vacation with the kids even though we're separated. Remember though, it was only the first line that kept coming to mind. It wasn't until I read it that I noticed the separation part. It wasn't a final separation that happened. No, it wasn't a reunion either. I think it did teach a lot of people a very important lesson. Just because life doesn't go the way people see as normal doesn't mean there has to be bitterness. I think the reason that first line kept coming to mind was so I could continue it this way. When in the course of human events there is no room for selfishness and ego. A decision should be based on what is best for that particular situation.

I learned that since my kids LIVE the midwest lifestyle I also want them to grow up knowing the southern lifestyle not just experiencing it once in a while. As I say in many of my posts "Thanks for searching with me." Life is a series of searching and discovering. Thanks for sharing this one with me, Paul

The Edge:Update

Okay, for all you super historians I know you're going to think this is weird, and maybe I should feel embarrassed but I admit in high school I didn't memorize the Declaration Of Independence. I don't know that I would remember it anyway since that was a reeaally long time ago. I felt like I needed to defend myself right away because for the past few months I have been gettting the saying "When In The Course Of Human Events" in my head. This past weekend I woke up and I couldn't get it out of my head. So naturally what did I do? Google. It didn't take much of a search to find out that this is the first line of The Declaration Of Independence. The first line reads like this "When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another.... It goes on to say more, but most places I found stopped there because that states the thirteen colonies have decided to break all ties with England and form their own country. Each time this would come to mind I would try to put more thought to it and figure out where to go with it but nothing else would come to mind, so I would forget about it and move on. I don't know for sure but maybe this is one of the vision puzzles that is going to come together next month. Thanks for sharing my journey, Paul

The Edge

A few weeks ago I mentioned that we're going to Florida on vacation, and that I haven't been there on vacation for 10 years. I haven't lived there for over 30 years now. I have decided to make South Dakota my home, so the initial homesickness you feel when you first move away from home is gone. Naturally there are times when I still miss family. I have children my family hasn't met. My nieces have had children that we haven't met. Needless to say I'm getting excited. It's weird for me to experience anticipation. I don't usually think about an upcoming event. The more you think about it, the slower time seems to go by. This time I am thinking about it quite a bit. I keep finding little short videos of things we'll be doing to show the kids. I've also been having an intuitive feeling lately. This hasn't been just a normal feeling that something is going to happen. It feels more like when you're trying to remember something, and just before you remember, you lose the thought, and you just yell aarrgh. Like you're right at the edge but can't quite see over. It's almost like little visions in a puzzle that I can't quite put together yet. I'm sure it is going to be something I need to write about. Most of the stories I've written here, and now on Damsels, Ghosts, and Heroes have been along the fun, funny, fantasy, theme. This feels different, maybe a dramatic, emotional, love story type of story. I tend to lean toward writing childrens stories, but some of the stuff I've read lately regarding the art of writing says to write outside of you comfort zone. Maybe this is where these little visions are headed. One of the things I do miss frequently about Florida is the beach and the ocean, so this trip we are going to spend a couple of days at the beach. If you've ever spent time sitting, listening to the waves wash onto the beach, you know how soothing and therapeutic that can be. Hopefully my therapy will be putting these little visions together. Stay tuned for future updates, and the whole picture sometime toward the end of next month. Thanks for sharing the journey with me, Paul

Feeling Sentimental For The Elderly

Before I get started with my thoughts for this post, I want to plug another blog I started back in May. It is mainly for stories, but if I have some thoughts about writing I will probably put them over there also. The latest story is called Captain Brocc, just click on Captain Brocc to check it out


I know we haven't had a Thursdays Child for a few weeks, but I've had some other thoughts brewing in my head. I would like to share some thoughts I've had recently regarding the elderly. For the past couple of months we've been planning a trip to Florida. I haven't been to Florida since 2002, and that was a quick trip for my sisters funeral. So, in reality I haven't down there for a vacation since 2000. My dad is going to be 80 in August, so we're going to go have a birthday party. What I've been thinking about is, all of a sudden my parents have become "elderly." Since I've had this reality check, I've been more aware of the elderly. Mainly their physical characteristics. If they are bent over, if they walk slower, and just a variety of things. What really makes me wonder though, is how they must feel not being able to do the things they used to do. I currently work in the medical field. One day I was thinking about other jobs in the medical field, and how interesting, and exciting being a lifeflight paramedic would be. Then it hit me that, that is usually a job for those in the mid 20 to mid 30 year old range, and well, I have past that age range. I can't say I was devastated, or even disappointed, but that was just one event that started this train of thought. How do we go from an active, independent lifestyle, to being dependent on others. My parents are healthy and are still able to live independently but I do however see many senior citizens who aren't so fortunate. Is the growing old process like the growing up process. It's interesting when kids start having to do chores around the house. First they are excited to be able to help, then the older they get the more responsibility they get. That's when the fun wears off, but they eventually quit rolling their eyes, and they just accept it. Then all of a sudden one day they realize they've grown up, and it's time to get a job. Is that what happens when we get older? Does it happen so gradually we don't realize it? All of a sudden it just sneaks up on us and, BAM we're old? I know a lot of our problems we bring on ourselves. I also clean windows sometimes. Well, one day I was cleaning windows for a 75 yr. old lady who sat in her recliner smoking cigarettes. She coughed so much I thought she was going to hack up a lung. While I was there her 80 year old friend stopped by on her way to the YMCA to go swimming. So, I know there are some things we can do (or not do) to enjoy life as long as possible. I've just been feeling bad lately as I watch elderly people having to call a bus for a ride, or get meals brought in. I don't know why this has been on my mind so much lately, I've never really been one to freak out about my age, maybe this is my version of a midlife crisis, or maybe it's just another part of the accepting process. Whatever the reason, thanks for pondering this with me, Paul

Compassion For Haiti

When you look at the pictures of Haiti this week doesn't it make you feel helpless? Doesn't it give you an overwhelming feeling of sadness? The question I asked was how will they rebuild? Yes, the world is coming to their aid. Yes, food, and medical aid are already starting to arrive. There was a doctor from Rapid City, S.D. that was already there on a mission trip and was able to help some before he had to come home. If you notice the houses that are still standing you can tell how poor the country is. Regardless of the massive deficit in this country the U.S. is considered a rich country and, even though we don't hear about it very much any more New Orleans is still rebuilding after hurricane Katrina. If you're feeling overwhelmed for the people of Haiti, imagine how they must feel looking down their streets and seeing nothing but rubble where their houses used to be, and not being able to find family members that are missing. There are many ways in which to help. It doesn't take much searching to find legitimate charities.
I follow a blog from James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel. His latest blog said, what bothered him the most was, who is going to help the churches? He talked to some other pastors this past week, and they decided to take a team to Haiti early next week and assess what needs the churches have. They have already started a website so everyone can keep updated. The website is www.churcheshelpingchurches.com. If you are involved in a church they are more than likely developing ways to help. If you aren't, this would be a way to help a legitimate, respected, organization who is trying to help those who are trying to help those who are suffering. The website just has a "test post" up right now. But, they are suppose to start posting needs when they get back next week.
As I search inside myself, and the hurt I feel for them, I don't know how much I will be able to do financially but I do feel fortunate that I am able to help by passing on the information. As they post the needs I'll continue to keep everyone posted.
The verse Love One Another keeps coming to mind, and the phrase Love Equals Compassion. Life is a constant search. Thanks for searching with me, Paul

Comparing Strengths

Today I want to immediately follow up with a comparison to Contentment=Thankfullness.
Verse 23 in the Tao Te Ching it says:

When you have nothing to say
You may as well keep your mouth shut
The wind and the rain don't go on forever
If nature knows enough to give it a rest
So should we.

If you're ready for Tao, you can live with Tao
If you're ready for success, you can live with success
If you're ready for failure, you can live with failure
Trust your instincts, and others will trust you

When I read the first paragraph it dawned on me how many conflicts could be avoided if we would all practice this. But, nobody wants to be wrong, nobody wants to concede and show weakness, and everybody wants to have the last word.
The second paragraph is the one I felt was similar. This is a Chinese teaching, and in many of the verses you could substitute the word God for the word Tao and it would read right. So, let's just look at it that way for a minute. Are you ready for God, then you can live with God. Isn't that so true. Noone really ever comes to God until they're ready. It's at that time when they are ready to live their life for God. Now to look at the strength similarities. Are you ready for success or failure. If we accept failure we just give up. If we decide to succeed then we fight, we find that strength. When we accept the fact that we are not going to give up, no matter how over whelming our circumstances may be, the reason to succeed is more important. I feel this verse is telling you to ask yourself what is more important to you . It's all a learning experience, and while we're learning we're searching. Thanks for searching with me, Paul

A Teachable Spirit- Learning Kindness

Click on title to go to separate kindness article
First of all, I naturally feel like I have to throw in a disclaimer to satisfy the christian community I am associated with. I don't know why, I make no apologies for how I feel. I have just heard some people in the christian church I am a member of are concerned that I'm into some weird stuff. Well, you are always free to email me or leave a comment, and I will definitely get back to you. Having said that , no I haven't gone over the edge, but I might be able to see it from where I am :) and yes, I still believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. I do however hope you go to the link and read the article. This is from one of my favorite blogs. I read this guy's stuff alot. He has alot of good things to say.
Next, taking into consideration that the Dali Lama is probably not a christian, I say probably because who really knows for sure where somebody elses heart is. In reality the Dali Lama is the head of state and the spiritual leader of the people of Tibet. They consider him to be a manifestation of the Buddha of Compassion. So that would make the official religion of the Dali Lama, Buddhism.
Notice how the world respects the Dali Lama. He has compassion for all people. He travels the world interceding for civil rights and people who are being persecuted. Noone would dare harm him. He shows love and kindness. He isn't out traveling the world racking up high numbers of Buddhist converts. He's just out fighting for and loving people. Granted, Billy Graham traveled the world and he was just as respected. Maybe because people can tell the genuine from the egotistical.
But, getting back to the article, love and kindness doesn't have to be complicated. Do we always have to have an alterior motive for our acts of kindness? Do we have to make people listen to a sermon before we feed them? As we have said before the world is in a constant state of balance we reap what we sow, law of giving and recieving, etc, etc. Where is the balance in forcing others to convert to our way just to fulfill our ego. I know we are instructed to "Go into the world and make disciples..." Can't we make disciples by planting a seed, or watering a seed in someones heart that was previously planted and just let the Holy Spirit do His job? Eventually that person is going to inquire about these acts of kindness. So, as we go through this adventure between birth and death, let's search for the balance in kindness. How much more of an impact we would make. Thanks for searching with me, Paul

Attitude Of Choice

The past few weeks has made me realize how tiring anger is. Being angry quickly zaps lifes energy right out of you. I don't understand people who choose to go through life angry. Naturally there are times when we're going to experience anger. Neil Anderson of Freedom In Christ Ministries says we experience anger when someone or something has blocked our goal. Fortunately the beginning of this separation hasn't brought too many blocked goals. The ones that have occured are the ones that have shown me how draining anger is. I can only speak from my own viewpoint as a person who internalizes his emotions. I never have been able hold a grudge but it does take me a while to get over anger since I tend to hold it in. Even though we can't necessarily choose which emotions we're going experience, we can choose which ones we're going to hold on to. As christians we're taught to give it over to God. I mean lets face it He created the universe and everything in it in six days, I think He can take on our petty little squabbles. If you read through the book of Psalm, check out David's anger problem. God had to listen to him over and over and still made him king. If you've never prayed something like "OK God, I can't fix this I need for you to take care of it." You should try it sometime it will do wonders for your attitude. Just being able to get it off your shoulders and releasing it to God will clear your head and help you return to managing life. If we let them, our emotions can consume us. So, in our search for the attitude of choice search for the positive ones like joy, happy, and love. Not ones that will destroy you like anger, hate, and unforgiveness. Thanks for searching with me, Paul

A Little Sense Of Normalcy

It has been a little while since I've posted. I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I didn't really know why until I got a decent days sleep. For no apparent reason, for the past few weeks I would wake up no less than an hour before my alarm clock. Since I usually only set it for 6 hours anyway, this was creating a zombielike state of mind. It wasn't until a couple of days ago when I woke up to the sound of music (not the movie) playing that I realized I had gotten a full days sleep. Woke up feeling good, the cobwebs were gone, blog ideas started rushing back in. Maybe I'm starting to develop a new version of normal. I say that because for a little over a month now my life has been in transition. What I used to call normal is now a memory, and now I'm working on a new definition of the word. Trying to create a normal morning or evening routine with the kids. Since they're homeschooled we don't have to adjust our times with them around a public school day routine and the inevitable homework that goes with it. It makes me wonder what goes on inside a 3,4, and 5 year olds head when they spend part of their day at the apartment with me and the other part at the house with mom. I think Ben the 5 yr. old probably gets it he's pretty sharp. Naturally Brent the 11 yr. old does. Isaiah and Allissa, they are the 4 and 3 yr. olds, it seems like there was some testing going on the first few days but was that 3,4 yr. old behavior or was it because their life was being disrupted? Now they just seem to be going with the flow. It doesn't appear that any of them are weirded out by bouncing back and forth. They run into the apartment the same way as they go into the house they've always known. They seem equally comfortable at both places and that makes me good. Maybe, as I said in "The Inner Self", this is some people's normal. There are as many variations of normal as there are variations of people. Well, maybe the funk is gone, and we can get back to just being funky. It's good to be back and a relief to get back to the business of getting some of this stuff out of my head. Thanks for searching with me this thing we call life, Paul

The Inner Self

The Inner Self Please click on me to go to article

Death of an Ego

The past couple of days has brought to my mind the saying "life is fleeting." Most of the time we hear it and dismiss it as cliche', but no longer will I take it so lightly. Friday was the day that I was personally affected, Friday and Saturday was helping kids deal with death. Last week my wife's cousin passed away at the age of 29 from a disease he found he had when he was 18. Kids' questions regarding the viewing, and funeral been common, and frequent. I experienced death in another way also. I saw a man awake, alert, and talking. An hour and a half later he had passed away. All efforts to try to revive him were futile. Some family members weren't even able to make it to see him before he died. It left me with the realization that how we treat people one moment could be how they remember us forever. Now that's not necessarily a new concept either but, events like this help us to remember these lessons, and why do we stray from these lessons? I thought about how our ego affects our relationships. If it weren't for egos would there be conflict? Isn't living in harmony what everyone seems to want? Why is that so hard to achieve? EGO that's why. I recommend we just get over ourselves for awhile, and see what kind of difference we can make in the lives of others, even if only for just a day. Thanks for reflecting with me, Paul