Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck: Part 3

This will be our final installment of the "Growing Up Sucks" series. As I mentioned before, we are going to look at the affects of alcohol on the teenage brain, and also their emotions.

I think it would be hard to find a teenager these days who hasn't tried alcohol in some form. The studies in this report aren't dealing with teenagers who have just "tried" alcohol, these studies are about teens who have abused alcohol. It doesn't say what they drank, or how much. It just said they abused it. Their research shows that alcohol affects teens differently than adults. This makes sense considering, MRI studies have shown their brains are still developing. A study in 2000 showed, even weeks after they quit drinking, fifteen and sixteen year olds still had problems with, memory, judgement and reasoning. Not only do they react differently to the immediate affects of alcohol, the research shows that teens who frequently use alcohol have problems later on in life also.

When it comes teens and their emotions, what is interesting is, that a teens ability to read the facial expressions of others differs from adults also. McLean Hospital in Boston did a study of teenagers between the ages of eleven and seventeen. The teens had their brains scanned and were shown pictures of people wearing fearful expressions. Those under the age of fourteen, saw the expressions as anger, sadness, or confusion instead of fear. Therefore, we can't just assume they understand when other people are afraid, or sad, just by the look on their faces like adults can.

When talking to a teenager, we usually expect them to be able to understand what we're talking about, and it can be very frustrating when they don't. Now that we know there is something going on in their brain that is causing them to not understand, it helps us as adults to realize that we're going to need to take more time with them, and explain ourselves more clearly. I guess, when we see that blank look on their faces, we'll know the wires are still connecting on that topic, and that will be one area that is going to require a little more patience.

This has really been an interesting topic to research, thanks for pursuing our teenagers brains with me.

Paul

A Lifetime Of Firsts

When we have kids we expect their first year to be a year of "Firsts." We still have some firsts throughout the next few years, then the "firsts" become less frequent. We remember first days of school, first ballgames, or gymnastic events. This year I had one of those stunning, had to sit down for a second "firsts", when I got a text from the kids' mom when she told me our fourteen year old had his first kiss.

I remember a shocking first when I was in my thirties. I don't remember the exact circumstance but, it was the first time a teenager called me "sir." I remember standing there for a moment, probably with my mouth hanging open, I started to correct him, but reality set in and I realized, I was his elder and he was just doing what he was taught and was being respectful.

Today I had another weird first. It was kind of a reality check. Not completely, because even though I have children in kindergarten, first, second, and eighth grade, I also have a twenty four year old daughter, and a thirty one year old daughter. The reality is I also have grandchildren, and I accept the fact that I am old enough to have grandchildren.

Well, throughout this school year I have written a short story, and I've taken it to my second graders class once a month. I would leave off the ending, then over the course of the next month, their assignment would be to write an ending, and I would share mine. Today was my day to go to his class. It all started out normal, we were saying hi, they were telling me what had happened over the past month, then one of the kids said "Hey, you know what?" Naturally I said "What?" Then she said that shocking "first" "My grandmother has a crush on you." As you can imagine, by the time I got over my shock, I forgot to get her grandma's phone number.

Thanks for sharing another first in my life,

Paul

Thursdays Child John 6:1-14 Generic Prayers

Wow, it really is amazing how fast time goes by. I checked how long it had been since I wrote a Thursdays Child. Approximately a year and a half. I have been trying to concentrate on short story writing over at www.paul-akaandrewpearson.blogspot.com. Between that, and researching how to publish ebooks, time has kind of gotten away from me. Hopefully before too long I'll be able to get Thursdays Child and my kids stories on an ebook. Until then let's get back into Thursdays Child.

I often hear a debate about whether people should pray before they do things as they go about their daily routine. Mainly praying before they eat, or before bed. The argument is, “It’s just a rote prayer, that isn't being said with any meaning anyway, so what’s the point?” Actually one of the definitions of the word rote says, “without meaning.” Well, let’s look at the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand.

After Jesus healed the lame man, and was harassed by the Jewish leaders, He crossed the Sea of Galilee. He went into the hills and sat down with His disciples. Soon a crowd of people came looking for Him. The culture at that time was a very male centered culture, therefore only the men were counted, and there were five thousand men in that crowd. Now, if we take into consideration that maybe some of the men were alone, maybe some brought their wives, possibly others had wives and kids. I guess it’s possible some women came on their own, not accompanied by a man. We know there was at least one boy there as we’ll see in a minute. It makes you wonder if you could double that number of five thousand. To put that number into perspective, I imagine a large concert or sports arena that might hold ten thousand people.

When Jesus saw these people coming up the hill, He asked His disciples “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” Philip answered Him by saying “It would take a small fortune to feed them all.” Then Andrew spoke up and said “ There’s a young boy here with five loaves of barley and two fish, but what good will that do with this large of a crowd." This also makes me wonder if some kids, if they were old enough to be out by themselves also followed Jesus but weren’t counted in the five thousand. So given all the different options, the total number of people could have been significantly higher than five thousand.

Jesus told the disciples to have everyone sit down, and here’s the point I want to make, He Gave Thanks To God, then He passed out the bread and fish. Now imagine again, that large sports arena. Walking up and down the rows of people handing out bread and fish. You know you only started with five loaves of bread and two fish, but it just doesn't seem to run out. Then, after everyone is fed, and has had enough to get full, the disciples pick up the leftovers, and have enough bread to fill twelve baskets. When the people saw the miracle, they started exclaiming that Jesus is surely the prophet they have been waiting for. Knowing they were going to try to make him their king, He left right away and went higher into the hills.

I've always been taught that God provides us with everything we have. Jobs to make money, to pay rent or mortgage, food, cars, and any extras we may be able to afford. Everything we have God has provided, so even if seems habitual, and meaningless I feel we should follow Jesus’ example and give thanks to God for our food before we eat. I’m not going to say there haven’t been times my family hasn't prayed before a meal, I’m just saying that, even if we’re praying the memorized, rote prayers, we are still making a conscious effort to say them, therefore we’re making a conscious effort to thank God for what he has provided.

Kids are taught early in Sunday school classes and kids’ church to offer prayer requests, to ask God for things they need, or things other people need. We also need to teach them to give thanks when those prayers are answered, and even though it seems redundant at times, to teach them to give thanks in all things.

Thank you as always for searching with me. Let me know what you think, I’m always interested in your feedback.

Paul

Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck: Part 2

Well if you’re back to read more about teenage brain development, that must mean you’re not easily frightened. If you haven’t read “Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck” you may want to go read that first, that will give you a little insight to why I decided to write about this.
Drs. at the National Institute Of Mental Health have determined that the human brain doesn’t stop maturing at age ten, as once believed. They have found that our brain continues to mature sometimes into our twenties. We actually get a second wave of overproduction during this time, something that they previously thought only happened at eighteen months of age.
Following this overproduction we go through a pruning process. During this process, connections among neurons that are not used, wither away, while others that are used more often are strengthened. It’s the brains way of eliminating all the clutter collected during the over production process.
If you’ve ever listened to teenagers talk, it’s probably pretty hard to understand them. Just yesterday, my son was talking so fast a few times I had to ask him to repeat himself so I could understand what he said. Not only do they talk fast, but they have so many things they are thinking about at any given time it’s hard to keep up with which topic they’re on.
The good news about these findings is, 1st) it helps us as parents realize there is actually something physical going on inside their heads that they really can’t control. 2nd) There is a part of the process they can control. That is the process of what neurons they are going to keep. If they lean more towards art, music, sports, engineering, being a doctor, or lawyer, we as parents can help guide or encourage them in that direction. Taking into consideration, that what we would like for them to do with their lives may not be what they would choose. A lot of times their choice may be genetic, like the families where there are generations of doctors, or military families, but sometimes there will be those that will break the cycle. They have a different agenda for themselves, and I believe that we as parents will be disappointed if we try to force them to follow a path they don’t want to go down. They may or may not succeed. If they don’t succeed they could see themselves as a failure. If they do succeed, but aren’t doing what they love then they will be miserable. (check out my blog post “Dreams”.)
As I said at the beginning of part one, I’m one of those people who likes to try to figure out what makes other people tick. As parents you try to figure out what your kids are good at, and lead them in that direction. For example buying my son a guitar. He like it for a while, then he put it on the back burner for a while. When he started playing it again he said he didn’t know why he stopped, he remembered how fun it is. Now he has been playing hours every day and writing songs as well, not because he is being made to practice, but because he has decided he likes it.
As parents, it’s also hard to know when to discourage them from making a decision. I was just thinking about what professional skateboarder Tony Hawks parents must have been thinking when he told them he was going to ride a skateboard for a living. I would have like to have been in on that conversation. Now, he has skateboarding video games. I guess doing what you love is the key. I know it sounds cliche’, but success really isn’t measured financially. What good is being rich is you’re miserable.
I know there are some teenagers who don’t drink alcohol, but I think they are probably the minority. Next time we’ll look at the affects of alcohol on the teenage brain, and teens dealing with emotions.
Thanks again for your bravery of attempting to understand our teenagers,
Paul