Thursdays Child: John 6:61-71 Weeding, and Pruning

Well, it looks like we're going to finish John 6 today. In this section, the term disciple is used twice. The first time in verse 61, it refers to the twelve Jesus had chosen that we usually think of as His disciples. The second time is in verse 66, when Jesus refers to the crowd. They were also considered disciples because the word "disciple" means "to follow the teachings of another." Jesus specifically chose the twelve because He knew they would be the ones who would become His Apostles. "Apostle" means "one who is sent out." Jesus chose them to teach them, then send them out to become the ones who would start the early Christian church. The large group of people were Jesus' disciples, because they were His students, and followers. That doesn't mean they didn't tell others about Jesus, that just means they were always known only as disciples.
Jesus had just taught the crowd that He was the true bread from heaven. If they eat of His flesh and drink of His blood, they will have eternal life. He knew that some of them were complaining. He turned to them and asked "Does this offend you? Then what will you think if you see me, The Son of Man, return to heaven again?It is the Spirit who gives eternal life. But some of you don't believe me. This is what I meant when I said that people can't come to me unless the Father brings them to me." That was a bunch of the crowd left. In my last post, "Drawn To God" we talked about how it is our responsibility to have an open mind so the Holy Spirit can work in us. Even though the Holy Spirit didn't come on the scene until after Jesus' death and resurrection He gave us a hint here that, that is who touches our spirit.
When the crowd started leaving, Jesus turned to the twelve and asked "Are you going to leave too?" Peter said "Lord to whom would we go? You alone have the words that give eternal life. We believe them, and we know you are the Holy One of God."
Here again we are challenged to have an open mind. I believe we are still suppose to question, and seek answers. Let the Holy Spirit touch your spirit, and let Him give you the answers your are looking for.
Next we are going to start Chapter 7. That is going to be a little while. I have a story brewing in my head for my other blog "Damsels Ghosts and Heroes."  So I'll be back as soon as I clear my head. Until then keep searching and asking those questions.
Paul

Thursdays Child:John 6:37-45 Drawn To God

John six has really provided us with some good discussion material. On this Thursdays Child I would like to take a look at a phrase Jesus says a couple of times in chapter six. In verses 37, and 44 Jesus says "Those that the Father has given to Me will come to Me." and "For people can't come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws them to Me." In these two verses Jesus is essentially is saying the same thing. People can't come to Jesus unless the Father draws them to Him. I have heard people argue that, God chooses people to find salvation, and if He doesn't choose you, you go to hell. They are trying to say "How can God be so cruel, and pick and choose who goes to heaven?" Well, let's look at John 6:37-40. Jesus says "However, those the Father has given to Me, will come to me, and I will never reject them. For I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not to do what I want. And this is the will of God that I should not lose even one of all those He has given Me, but that I should raise them to eternal life at the last day. For it is my Father's will that all who see His Son and believe in Him should have eternal life, that I should raise them at the last day."
Then in verse 45 Jesus says "As it is written in the scriptures 'They will all be taught by God', Everyone who hears and learns from the Father comes to me."  
This last scripture tells me it is up to us to learn from what we hear being preached. How many times have heard something or seen something that we just can't accept. A recent news story comes to mind. A preacher who was having a service where they handled snakes, got bit by a rattle snake, didn't go to the hospital right away but, prayed for healing. When they saw he wasn't getting better, they took him to the hospital, but it was too late. He died. The outcome of this story isn't my point, my point is, I wouldn't have been in the service, because I'm just not that open minded when it comes to touching snakes. People who aren't open minded to hearing the word of God, don't accept it right away. We do like to say that every time  some tells another about Jesus, "it plants a seed," and the more people that share Jesus with that person, that seed grows. This is what verse 45 is talking about. That person continues to learn, then one day he or she comes to Jesus. These days we say it is the Holy Spirit that draws then. Back then Jesus says it is the Father, because Jesus hadn't died, rose, and ascended to heaven. It was after He went up to heaven that the Holy Spirit came. That passage also says "It is the will of God that I should not lose even one." That tells me, that God wants all of us to come to Jesus, but God also gives us the ability to chose, or not. This is called free will. The more people that share Jesus with someone, the more chances they have to exercise their free will. God wants us all to be raised in Jesus at the last day, and spend eternity in heaven. It's up to us. God just provides the opportunities. This would be one of those opportunities. If this is your first time reading this blog, or if you want to know more about what it means to come to Jesus, please leave a comment in the comment section, and I'll reply.
Next time we finish off chapter 6, which talks more about how the crowd following Jesus aren't able to accept Him as the Messiah.
Thanks for searching with me as we try to figure out how God draws us to Him.
Paul
  

Thursdays Child John 6:35-60 Things Aren't Always What They Seem

Well, I hope you liked the last entry "Son Of Man." It was fun for me to research. If you didn't catch it, it is just below this one. We looked at what Jesus meant when He referred to Himself as "The Son Of Man." Check it out.
As we continue in the book of John, we'll take a look at how Jesus tries to explain to the crowd (the crowd of 5000 He had just fed the night before) that He is the "Bread Of Life." This passage has a lot of repetition in it. It probably could have been a lot shorter, but Jesus kept trying to convince the crowd that He had come to give them eternal life, and they just weren't able to accept it. As I was reading it, I was able to understand it from both perspectives. If we look at verse 38, Jesus says "I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent Me, not to do what I want." Then in verse 42 the people said "How can He say He came down from heaven, we know His mother and father." It doesn't say how long they had known Jesus' family, but I was thinking if they knew Him as He was growing up, it would be really hard to accept Him as the Messiah.
As we look at the next exchange between Jesus and the people, this is the part that spans twelve verses. Jesus is trying to explain to them that they are to eat of His flesh, and drink His blood. You can understand why the disciples said in verse 60 "This is very hard to understand. how can anyone accept it." It was back in verse 57 that help me understand. Jesus said "I live by the power of the living Father who sent me, in the same way, those who partake of Me will live because of Me." Jesus is saying here, if you totally take in and consume and live everything I teach, you will have eternal life. I don't know why, but the word "partake" helped me to realize what Jesus was saying. I think it's very cool that, after the people told Jesus they expected Him to take care of them while they followed Him, and brought up how Moses fed the Israelites with manna, Jesus compares himself to the manna. God supplied manna from heaven to sustain life for the Israelites, now Jesus is telling them, and us, that He has come from heaven and He is all the bread we need to "partake" of to have eternal life. When He says we will never hunger and thirst again, He means when we get to heaven. Naturally we will while we're still living as humans on earth, but when we get to heaven, when all is perfect, there will be no need for food or drink. If you were having a hard time understanding what Jesus meant when He said we are to eat His flesh, and drink His blood, I hope this helped make things a little clearer.
Just remember, things may not always be what they appear. The people in this passage would never have expected Jesus to be the Messiah (and some of them still didn't believe.) So keep an open mind, the most wonderful things could come to us where and when we least expect it.
In verse 37, and 44 Jesus said "those the Father has drawn to Me." I'd like to take a look at this next time. I have heard some debate about this in the past, and I'd like to see if we can shed a little light on this phrase. Until then keep questioning, and keep searching for the answers.
Thanks for searching with me,
Paul

Thursdays Child: "Son Of Man" Examined

As I mentioned in the last Thursdays Child, I would like to take a look at the phrase "Son Of Man." It's a phrase that I always wondered what it's meaning was. It is used 88 times in the New Testament, and one that Jesus used to refer to Himself.
What I found is that there are two possible meanings. One is from the book of Daniel, in a prophecy about Jesus being the Messiah. In Daniel 7:13-14 it says, "In my vision at night I looked and there before me was like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into His presence. He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations, and men of every language worshiped Him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and His kingdom is one that will never be destroyed." The second meaning actually means born of a human. An interesting use of the phrase, is in the Old Testament, it is used to confirm a person's relationship to another person. They used the phrase, like we use "next of kin" today. If a person needed to be bought from slavery, or released from jail, the "son of man" could redeem them. Since Jesus was totally human He can be considered our relative by blood, and since He was totally God, He could forgive sins. Therefore, Jesus was able to forgive the sins of those who lived when He did, and since He died and rose from the grave He is also able to forgive our sins today.
It's interesting to learn that Jesus did things that were based in His tradition. He observed the laws that were given by God, but then He would turn around and do things contrary to the man made laws, like having the man at the Bethesda pool carry his mat on the Sabbath.
It's fun to research the things you wonder about. I have wondered about the "Son of Man"" phrase for  a while. I'm glad I decided to finally find out what it meant. I hope it was as interesting for you also.
Thanks for learning with me,
Paul

Thursdays Child John 6:22-35 The Original "Show Me" People

Well, we're back on track after getting sidetracked with a little geography.

As I was reading this passage, I started thinking about 1) How people can be so deceitful and fickle, and 2) It's funny to watch Jesus tell them what they are really thinking, and that they can't deceive Him.  

John doesn't say after Jesus had fed them (the five thousand) and listened to Him teach, whether they went home to sleep, or if they had to sleep on the hill. He just says, they started gathering on the shore the next morning. They knew the disciples had gone across the lake without Him, but what they didn't know was that Jesus had decided to take a walk ACROSS the lake to catch up to the disciples. For some reason they decided to go across the lake and check anyway. I can just imagine the looks on their faces when they found Him there. When they asked Him how He got there, Jesus didn't answer the question, He just said "The truth is you just want to be with me because I fed you, not because you witnessed a miracle." It was like, that crowd was the groupies of their day. As long as the popular prophet was providing them with what they needed, or wanted, they would hang around. When their free ride starts to cost them something (as we'll see later) Jesus' crowd starts to dwindle. But for now, He goes on to tell them not to be so concerned about perishable things like food. They need to focus their energy on seeking the eternal life that Jesus can give them. He specifically told them "I, the Son of Man, have been sent by God the Father to give you eternal life." They did respond by asking what God wants them to do. Jesus told them "Believe in the one He has sent." They had the nerve to say "Then you need to show us a miraculous sign. What will you do for us?" It makes you wonder why Jesus didn't say "I just fed over five thousand of you with five loaves of bread and two fish, what more do you want?" Evidently they wanted Jesus to feed them as long as they followed Him, because they said "Moses fed the people manna while they journeyed through the wilderness." Jesus told them it wasn't Moses that provided the manna, it was His Father, and now God is offering them the true bread of heaven, the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. They said "Sir give us that bread every day of our lives." At this point I picture Jesus pointing to His chest saying loudly in frustration "I Am The Bread Of Life." The people are probably still thinking about getting some breakfast, and having some bread that is edible, and Jesus is talking eternity, and they just aren't getting it.
We'll see how they finally understand later but, I want to stop here for today. I don't want to go too far past Jesus' "Son of Man" statement. I want to take a closer look at that, and what He could have meant by that, next time. Until then,
Thanks for searching with me, as we attempt to understand Jesus' relationship with His followers.
Paul  
             

Thursdays Child-Jesus' Geography

Just a little suggestion before you get started, If you click on the map it shows up better.

As I was getting ready for the next Thursdays Child I was reading John 6:22-59 and I started wondering, where was Jesus when He crossed the Sea Of Galilee, and just how far did He travel (walk) in His ministry. This map can give you an idea how far He traveled. He changed the water to wine at the wedding feast in Cana. Then, He went to Jerusalem to heal the lame man at the pool of Bethesda, which seems to be about sixty to seventy miles or so. After He healed the lame man is when He made all the Jewish leaders angry by claiming to be The Son Of God. That's when it says He crossed the Sea of Galilee and fed the five thousand. Well, the Sea of Galilee wasn't right there for Him to just hop in a boat and go. He had to walk another sixty miles or so. Then I started wondering, where did He feed the five thousand, so we would know where he landed. As I was looking for that I read an article that said, since Jesus celebrated the Jewish Festivals, and the timing of them, He probably fed the five thousand about six months after He healed the lame man. I have been trying to focus only on the book of John when writing this, but I wanted to know where Jesus landed when He crossed the Sea of Galilee, and found it in Luke. Luke says "He took the disciples and they withdrew by themselves to a town called Bethsaida, but the crowds learned about it and followed them there." If you check the map, that's at the top of the sea. Again, checking the map, it looks like the trip over to Capernaum may have just be possible to do overnight. Their route must have taken them far enough out to sea though, that a bad storm could have been very frightening.

If it really was six months from healing the lame man, to feeding the five thousand, that gave Jesus plenty of time to do a lot of other miracles. That makes me think of the very last verse in the book of John. If you're not familiar with it, I won't make you wait 'til we get there it says "I suppose that if all the other things Jesus did were written down, the whole world could not contain the books." He had six months and over sixty miles of walking, to do a lot of miracles, and develop a huge following. Which is probably why He had five thousand people to feed when He got there.

Thanks for taking a break from the next scripture in line to satisfy my curiosity. As I have always said the more we question the more we learn.

Thanks for learning a little geography with me today,

Paul

Thursdays Child John 6:16-21 A Heck Of A Ride

As I read this passage, I remembered a Thursdays Child from June 2009. It was titled "Thursdays Child Matt 27:44 & Mark 15:32." I talked about the two criminals being crucified with Jesus and how Matthew just mentions the two criminals, Mark says both criminals mock Jesus, Luke is the only one that says one of the criminals repents. My question was, why do we only teach Luke's version? I know it makes for a better Sunday School class, and it teaches that no matter what we've done we can always ask for forgiveness, but I had really never heard the other two versions taught. It just goes to show, if you don't read the Bible on your own, you miss stuff like this. One of these days I'm going to write about some of the more obscure scriptures we don't hear much about. I do feel like I'm suppose to go all the way through John, then we'll see where God takes us.

I bring up the post from a few years ago because, John 6:16-21 is another one of those passages that isn't taught very much, if not at all. It's about Jesus walking on the water.

Yes, churches do teach about Jesus walking on the water, but they usually, if not always teach Matthews version. Matthew talks about the disciples seeing Jesus, and Peter getting out of the boat and walking on the water to go meet Him. I understand why we teach that version. It teaches about having faith in Jesus. When Peter took his eyes off of Jesus he started sinking in the water, and Jesus reached down, grabbed his hand and saved him. That's at Matthew 14:22-33 if you want to go check it out. In Mark 7:45-52 it just says Jesus gets in the boat and they go to the other side of the lake. For me, John's version is the most intriguing. Maybe because I'm into the supernatural stuff, but at the end of John's passage it doesn't say they just went to the other side of the lake. It says starting in verse eighteen "Soon a gale swept down upon them as they rowed, and the sea grew very rough. They were three or four miles out when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified but He called out to them 'I am here! Don't be afraid.' Then they were eager to let Him in." Now here is the best part for me. The last half of verse twenty one says. "IMMEDIATELY the boat arrived at their destination." It doesn't say they continued on, it says immediately. I wonder how the disciple reacted. One minute they're in the middle of the lake, then, in a split second they are on the shore. I picture them looking around at each other, baffled. I know my words would have been "Whoa, what the heck just happened here?" Don't forget about the version in Matthew, because it's important to teach faith and to keep looking to Jesus to guide us but, I think it's also important not to get stuck in a rut. We need also to teach that Jesus did some pretty amazing things that sometimes sneaks under our radar, and we don't really grasp how great some of the things were that He did. How do we catch these things on our radar? Let God's word sink in as we read. If we read the Bible looking for inspiration from God, He will provide that inspiration, then maybe one day we can have a supernatural experience like the disciples, and we'll be able to say "Wow, what a heck of a ride!"

Always ask questions, always keep searching, and He will always keep providing the answers.

Thanks for searching with me.

Paul

Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck: Part 3

This will be our final installment of the "Growing Up Sucks" series. As I mentioned before, we are going to look at the affects of alcohol on the teenage brain, and also their emotions.

I think it would be hard to find a teenager these days who hasn't tried alcohol in some form. The studies in this report aren't dealing with teenagers who have just "tried" alcohol, these studies are about teens who have abused alcohol. It doesn't say what they drank, or how much. It just said they abused it. Their research shows that alcohol affects teens differently than adults. This makes sense considering, MRI studies have shown their brains are still developing. A study in 2000 showed, even weeks after they quit drinking, fifteen and sixteen year olds still had problems with, memory, judgement and reasoning. Not only do they react differently to the immediate affects of alcohol, the research shows that teens who frequently use alcohol have problems later on in life also.

When it comes teens and their emotions, what is interesting is, that a teens ability to read the facial expressions of others differs from adults also. McLean Hospital in Boston did a study of teenagers between the ages of eleven and seventeen. The teens had their brains scanned and were shown pictures of people wearing fearful expressions. Those under the age of fourteen, saw the expressions as anger, sadness, or confusion instead of fear. Therefore, we can't just assume they understand when other people are afraid, or sad, just by the look on their faces like adults can.

When talking to a teenager, we usually expect them to be able to understand what we're talking about, and it can be very frustrating when they don't. Now that we know there is something going on in their brain that is causing them to not understand, it helps us as adults to realize that we're going to need to take more time with them, and explain ourselves more clearly. I guess, when we see that blank look on their faces, we'll know the wires are still connecting on that topic, and that will be one area that is going to require a little more patience.

This has really been an interesting topic to research, thanks for pursuing our teenagers brains with me.

Paul

A Lifetime Of Firsts

When we have kids we expect their first year to be a year of "Firsts." We still have some firsts throughout the next few years, then the "firsts" become less frequent. We remember first days of school, first ballgames, or gymnastic events. This year I had one of those stunning, had to sit down for a second "firsts", when I got a text from the kids' mom when she told me our fourteen year old had his first kiss.

I remember a shocking first when I was in my thirties. I don't remember the exact circumstance but, it was the first time a teenager called me "sir." I remember standing there for a moment, probably with my mouth hanging open, I started to correct him, but reality set in and I realized, I was his elder and he was just doing what he was taught and was being respectful.

Today I had another weird first. It was kind of a reality check. Not completely, because even though I have children in kindergarten, first, second, and eighth grade, I also have a twenty four year old daughter, and a thirty one year old daughter. The reality is I also have grandchildren, and I accept the fact that I am old enough to have grandchildren.

Well, throughout this school year I have written a short story, and I've taken it to my second graders class once a month. I would leave off the ending, then over the course of the next month, their assignment would be to write an ending, and I would share mine. Today was my day to go to his class. It all started out normal, we were saying hi, they were telling me what had happened over the past month, then one of the kids said "Hey, you know what?" Naturally I said "What?" Then she said that shocking "first" "My grandmother has a crush on you." As you can imagine, by the time I got over my shock, I forgot to get her grandma's phone number.

Thanks for sharing another first in my life,

Paul

Thursdays Child John 6:1-14 Generic Prayers

Wow, it really is amazing how fast time goes by. I checked how long it had been since I wrote a Thursdays Child. Approximately a year and a half. I have been trying to concentrate on short story writing over at www.paul-akaandrewpearson.blogspot.com. Between that, and researching how to publish ebooks, time has kind of gotten away from me. Hopefully before too long I'll be able to get Thursdays Child and my kids stories on an ebook. Until then let's get back into Thursdays Child.

I often hear a debate about whether people should pray before they do things as they go about their daily routine. Mainly praying before they eat, or before bed. The argument is, “It’s just a rote prayer, that isn't being said with any meaning anyway, so what’s the point?” Actually one of the definitions of the word rote says, “without meaning.” Well, let’s look at the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand.

After Jesus healed the lame man, and was harassed by the Jewish leaders, He crossed the Sea of Galilee. He went into the hills and sat down with His disciples. Soon a crowd of people came looking for Him. The culture at that time was a very male centered culture, therefore only the men were counted, and there were five thousand men in that crowd. Now, if we take into consideration that maybe some of the men were alone, maybe some brought their wives, possibly others had wives and kids. I guess it’s possible some women came on their own, not accompanied by a man. We know there was at least one boy there as we’ll see in a minute. It makes you wonder if you could double that number of five thousand. To put that number into perspective, I imagine a large concert or sports arena that might hold ten thousand people.

When Jesus saw these people coming up the hill, He asked His disciples “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” Philip answered Him by saying “It would take a small fortune to feed them all.” Then Andrew spoke up and said “ There’s a young boy here with five loaves of barley and two fish, but what good will that do with this large of a crowd." This also makes me wonder if some kids, if they were old enough to be out by themselves also followed Jesus but weren’t counted in the five thousand. So given all the different options, the total number of people could have been significantly higher than five thousand.

Jesus told the disciples to have everyone sit down, and here’s the point I want to make, He Gave Thanks To God, then He passed out the bread and fish. Now imagine again, that large sports arena. Walking up and down the rows of people handing out bread and fish. You know you only started with five loaves of bread and two fish, but it just doesn't seem to run out. Then, after everyone is fed, and has had enough to get full, the disciples pick up the leftovers, and have enough bread to fill twelve baskets. When the people saw the miracle, they started exclaiming that Jesus is surely the prophet they have been waiting for. Knowing they were going to try to make him their king, He left right away and went higher into the hills.

I've always been taught that God provides us with everything we have. Jobs to make money, to pay rent or mortgage, food, cars, and any extras we may be able to afford. Everything we have God has provided, so even if seems habitual, and meaningless I feel we should follow Jesus’ example and give thanks to God for our food before we eat. I’m not going to say there haven’t been times my family hasn't prayed before a meal, I’m just saying that, even if we’re praying the memorized, rote prayers, we are still making a conscious effort to say them, therefore we’re making a conscious effort to thank God for what he has provided.

Kids are taught early in Sunday school classes and kids’ church to offer prayer requests, to ask God for things they need, or things other people need. We also need to teach them to give thanks when those prayers are answered, and even though it seems redundant at times, to teach them to give thanks in all things.

Thank you as always for searching with me. Let me know what you think, I’m always interested in your feedback.

Paul

Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck: Part 2

Well if you’re back to read more about teenage brain development, that must mean you’re not easily frightened. If you haven’t read “Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck” you may want to go read that first, that will give you a little insight to why I decided to write about this.
Drs. at the National Institute Of Mental Health have determined that the human brain doesn’t stop maturing at age ten, as once believed. They have found that our brain continues to mature sometimes into our twenties. We actually get a second wave of overproduction during this time, something that they previously thought only happened at eighteen months of age.
Following this overproduction we go through a pruning process. During this process, connections among neurons that are not used, wither away, while others that are used more often are strengthened. It’s the brains way of eliminating all the clutter collected during the over production process.
If you’ve ever listened to teenagers talk, it’s probably pretty hard to understand them. Just yesterday, my son was talking so fast a few times I had to ask him to repeat himself so I could understand what he said. Not only do they talk fast, but they have so many things they are thinking about at any given time it’s hard to keep up with which topic they’re on.
The good news about these findings is, 1st) it helps us as parents realize there is actually something physical going on inside their heads that they really can’t control. 2nd) There is a part of the process they can control. That is the process of what neurons they are going to keep. If they lean more towards art, music, sports, engineering, being a doctor, or lawyer, we as parents can help guide or encourage them in that direction. Taking into consideration, that what we would like for them to do with their lives may not be what they would choose. A lot of times their choice may be genetic, like the families where there are generations of doctors, or military families, but sometimes there will be those that will break the cycle. They have a different agenda for themselves, and I believe that we as parents will be disappointed if we try to force them to follow a path they don’t want to go down. They may or may not succeed. If they don’t succeed they could see themselves as a failure. If they do succeed, but aren’t doing what they love then they will be miserable. (check out my blog post “Dreams”.)
As I said at the beginning of part one, I’m one of those people who likes to try to figure out what makes other people tick. As parents you try to figure out what your kids are good at, and lead them in that direction. For example buying my son a guitar. He like it for a while, then he put it on the back burner for a while. When he started playing it again he said he didn’t know why he stopped, he remembered how fun it is. Now he has been playing hours every day and writing songs as well, not because he is being made to practice, but because he has decided he likes it.
As parents, it’s also hard to know when to discourage them from making a decision. I was just thinking about what professional skateboarder Tony Hawks parents must have been thinking when he told them he was going to ride a skateboard for a living. I would have like to have been in on that conversation. Now, he has skateboarding video games. I guess doing what you love is the key. I know it sounds cliche’, but success really isn’t measured financially. What good is being rich is you’re miserable.
I know there are some teenagers who don’t drink alcohol, but I think they are probably the minority. Next time we’ll look at the affects of alcohol on the teenage brain, and teens dealing with emotions.
Thanks again for your bravery of attempting to understand our teenagers,
Paul

Why Does Growing Up Have To Suck? Part 1

I’ve always been the kind of person who likes to know what makes people tick. I like to people watch, and try to figure out what kind of person they are. I often wonder what is going on in people’s heads. Yes I probably should have been a shrink. I did consider biblical counselling at one time, but decided it just wasn’t my nature to try to juggle work and school. So now I research things as the need arises. Last weekend brought about one of those needs.
My thirteen year old son had one of his first traumatic adolescent experiences. Without embarrassing him by publishing his life on the internet, lets just say it revolved around a girl. As I’m sure we can all relate, relationships are among hardest things to figure out. The phrase that comes to mind is “can’t live with them can’t live without them.” Male or female, I’m sure you’ve thought that at some point. I am so thankful my son has music as a way to vent. Song writers are probably the ones we hear about most that tell about their lives. They tell their stories in their music. His mother and I encouraged him to write a song about what happened, and were willing to accept anything he wrote, and any language he used. I don’t believe you should censor someone who is trying to come to terms with their feelings. I mean let’s face it, sometimes “gosh darn it” just doesn’t cut it.
Well, since I haven’t been able to get this out of my head all week, I decided to do a little research on adolescents and why does growing up have to suck so bad. I found a web site called act for youth. Here is the actual article I found. www.actforyouth.net/resources/rf/rf_brain_0502.pdf I don’t know if anyone will ever be able to answer that question, but hopefully we’ll be able to find some answers, and help ease our kids’ pain a little.
We’ll break the article down a little at a time. Understanding that this article was written ten years ago, I haven’t seen anything more current in my search.
When we adopted our children, and thinking that there could be some issues we would have to deal with, it was interesting to learn how a baby’s brain develops. There is so much stimulation it needs during the first few years to get everything wired correctly. Now this article says that the National Institute Of Mental Health has found through MRI’s, the brain of teenagers is still a work in progress. They used to think that the wiring of the brain was finished by three or four years old, and fully mature by ten or twelve. Their new findings(ten years ago)show that the greatest changes to the parts of the brain that are responsible for self control, judgement, emotions and organization, occur between puberty and adulthood. I guess this explains why we see teenagers making some very poor decisions. Their wiring is still trying to connect.
So the next time our teenagers make a wrong decision, or freak out over a friend or relationship in trouble, just remember, it’s not that they have a screw loose, it is probably a loose, or unconnected wire. With a little guidance, hopefully we can get those wires connected properly. That doesn’t mean they still aren’t going to be mad at us, because this wiring process also controls the emotional outburst part of the brain.
That was just the first paragraph of the article. We’ll look at more later, but I think this is a very interesting start.
Thanks for being brave enough to delve in the teenage brain with me.
Paul