There is something else I wonder. Why are members of a church congregation held to a higher standard of living than the church leaders? Are leaders of the church different than "PAID" leaders of the church? I heard it said too often "Well, he is a paid leader of the church." What does that mean? Shouldn't the leaders of the church be held accountable according to the same criteria. Does God classify one sin as worse than another? I was always taught not. Where do you draw the line between a white lie and a black lie? Doesn't God judge a lie as a lie, not according to the severity of the lie? Ok, so getting to the point, and hopefully after this we can move on from the whole divorce thing. The other night I coined the phrase "House of Gossip" when talking to someone. Which is mistakenly refered to as the "House of Worship" sometimes. What really bugs me is for someone to ask "How are things going? How can we pray for you?" I've found that for the most part they are just looking for gossip fuel. Notice how fast a fire spreads when an excellerant is used. Then for that fire to reach the "PAID" leaders of the church and to have them in turn remove someone from a volunteer leadership role because of family/divorce issues would be acceptible if the leaders themselves didn't have a similar history. I would think they would be a little more sympathetic. Maybe require that person to come in for awhile for counseling, while allowing them to hold their position. Especially when a person has volunteered for a few years and it is well known where their heart is. The hard part to swallow here is, to know that the leaders are just as prone to spreading the fuel as everyone else. So, what is worse? The divorce, the gossip? Look up 1Tim 3. Leadership guidelines, and wives of leaders. "Are not to take part in malicious gossip." Don't sin in the name of Jesus. Don't tell people you are concerned about them, then turn around and go email your address book and tell everyone their business in the name of your prayer chain. I'm not trying to say leaders even "PAID" leaders need to be superhuman. I mean look at the televangelists that have fallen. All I'm saying is, if leaders are concerned about what is being taught, and they should be, then don't expect people to ask for help, require they get it. It is after all your church and you make the policy. And reread James, it says the tongue cannot be tamed, but teachers will be judged with greater strictness. So, maybe all leaders need to take a break to reevaluate their Biblical standards and not put that pious pedestal so high their double standard of living is undermining true genuine Love.
Thanks for bearing with me while we pull on that tug-o-war, Paul
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4 comments:
Your post reminded me of a weird happening in my life about a decade ago.
I decided to, at my boyfriend's cajoling, regularly attend church with him. I can't remember which denomination it was. Anyway, one day the pastor walked up to me after sermon and said, "Angel, I hear that you've stopped doing drugs. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I'll pray for you."
That felt like a sucker punch in the stomach. No, I had never done drugs. Yes, someone apparently lied about me to him. And yes, he felt driven to tell me how happy he was for me although he never asked me if the information was true or not. Rather presumptuous.
I was so startled by his words the only thing I could think to say was, "uhh.. thank you?" And then I walked away from the church.
Not saying there aren't good churches out there, Paul; but it is difficult to navigate through the muddy waters of gossip and find people who can keep their mouths shut. Personal problems can be personal problems that you work out for yourself through God's grace and patience with ourselves. Not everything has to be announced over a loud speaker in order to be forgiven.
And forgiven by who, exactly? It's hard enough to forgive ourselves for transgressions, let alone talking about it with strangers.
I think people who broadcast their faith are the ones to be avoided. The genuine are the quiet thoughtful type. Hard to search inside a building if you know what I mean.
Paul, I believe you. I agree wholeheartedly.
For 5 years I was customer service for a national bank. I kid you not- the ones who had a verbal password of: Jesus, heaven, faith, HeLovesMe, salvation, fish, or Christian, made my life a living hell. Those were the customers who pushed every button I had to push, trying to make me lose my temper. For what?!! I don't get it. What, "I'm a Christian so you have to think I'm nice even when I scream at you and yell degrading things?" Phft! Right. I'll call a spade a spade even if it has a crucifix on it. And no, I can't give you back your twenty overdraft fees because you're of a certain faith or denomination.
Sometimes by announcing your faith in that way you are strangling yourself with a label. Not hanging a label around your neck or slapping it on yourself like a sticky Post It- STRANGLING yourself with it. As human beings we naturally tend to lump people into groups by past experiences we've had with them.
You can "preach" your faith just as easily by BEING a good person, however that is defined by your religion. I have talked to and met a handful of people in my life who I just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt were touched by God. They were truly remarkable in God's eyes and loved. And they never uttered a word about their religion to me. I sensed their conviction and goodness and those are all the signposts I need to point them out to me as "God's Children."
My quiet time with the Creator is personal, unique, and one-on-one. Nobody elses experience is exactly like mine. I have strong views but I don't say a quarter of the things I want to most of the time. Temperance and moderation is the only way to stay sane in this world.
My X used to work at the department store Shopko. She used to say sunday afternoon was the worse time to work because all the church people would come in in a far crabbier state than the rest of the week. I just don't get it. Or maybe they don't
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