Attitude Of Choice

The past few weeks has made me realize how tiring anger is. Being angry quickly zaps lifes energy right out of you. I don't understand people who choose to go through life angry. Naturally there are times when we're going to experience anger. Neil Anderson of Freedom In Christ Ministries says we experience anger when someone or something has blocked our goal. Fortunately the beginning of this separation hasn't brought too many blocked goals. The ones that have occured are the ones that have shown me how draining anger is. I can only speak from my own viewpoint as a person who internalizes his emotions. I never have been able hold a grudge but it does take me a while to get over anger since I tend to hold it in. Even though we can't necessarily choose which emotions we're going experience, we can choose which ones we're going to hold on to. As christians we're taught to give it over to God. I mean lets face it He created the universe and everything in it in six days, I think He can take on our petty little squabbles. If you read through the book of Psalm, check out David's anger problem. God had to listen to him over and over and still made him king. If you've never prayed something like "OK God, I can't fix this I need for you to take care of it." You should try it sometime it will do wonders for your attitude. Just being able to get it off your shoulders and releasing it to God will clear your head and help you return to managing life. If we let them, our emotions can consume us. So, in our search for the attitude of choice search for the positive ones like joy, happy, and love. Not ones that will destroy you like anger, hate, and unforgiveness. Thanks for searching with me, Paul

Thursdays child-John 1:29-34

As I was reading John 1:29 for this week's Thursdays Child I noticed that John doesn't mention that he was baptizing Jesus when he claimed that Jesus was the Lamb of God. Each of the other Gospels do though. John starts out by by saying Look! When I read this I imagined John speaking in our language of today. I don't think he nonchalantly said "oh look there is the Lamb of God." I think it would have been more like "HEY YO, YO, YO, LOOK THERE IS THE LAMB OF GOD." I picture him saying "THERE HE IS, THERE HE IS, THE ONE I WAS TALKING ABOUT." I find that when I read the Bible I don't always put the expression in my reading that the people are probably putting in there conversation. When we do that, like in this passage, the Bible comes to life a little more, is a little more fun to read. When we read just to get through a daily devotion, some times we miss that personal feeling. Sure, we may get the message God intends for us, but if we can put ourselves in their shoes and think about how we would feel if it happened to us, that message will take on a whole new personalized meaning. So, whenever you sit down to read don't just read to get it over with and get warm and fuzzy. Read to get personal and really do some searching. He won't let you down. He is God by the way, and knows your heart before you sit down. Thanks for searching with me, Paul.

A Little Sense Of Normalcy

It has been a little while since I've posted. I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I didn't really know why until I got a decent days sleep. For no apparent reason, for the past few weeks I would wake up no less than an hour before my alarm clock. Since I usually only set it for 6 hours anyway, this was creating a zombielike state of mind. It wasn't until a couple of days ago when I woke up to the sound of music (not the movie) playing that I realized I had gotten a full days sleep. Woke up feeling good, the cobwebs were gone, blog ideas started rushing back in. Maybe I'm starting to develop a new version of normal. I say that because for a little over a month now my life has been in transition. What I used to call normal is now a memory, and now I'm working on a new definition of the word. Trying to create a normal morning or evening routine with the kids. Since they're homeschooled we don't have to adjust our times with them around a public school day routine and the inevitable homework that goes with it. It makes me wonder what goes on inside a 3,4, and 5 year olds head when they spend part of their day at the apartment with me and the other part at the house with mom. I think Ben the 5 yr. old probably gets it he's pretty sharp. Naturally Brent the 11 yr. old does. Isaiah and Allissa, they are the 4 and 3 yr. olds, it seems like there was some testing going on the first few days but was that 3,4 yr. old behavior or was it because their life was being disrupted? Now they just seem to be going with the flow. It doesn't appear that any of them are weirded out by bouncing back and forth. They run into the apartment the same way as they go into the house they've always known. They seem equally comfortable at both places and that makes me good. Maybe, as I said in "The Inner Self", this is some people's normal. There are as many variations of normal as there are variations of people. Well, maybe the funk is gone, and we can get back to just being funky. It's good to be back and a relief to get back to the business of getting some of this stuff out of my head. Thanks for searching with me this thing we call life, Paul

The Inner Self - Expand The View

I named the weekly posting Thursdays Child as a personal growth tool, because we all have so far to go. My original thought was to go through sections of the Bible and share with you my version of the Bible according to Paul, with God's direction of course. Well, I learned last night there are other things I would like to share with you as well. As I have said before, I have a big interest in martial arts. Some people in the "Christian Community" are skeptical of the martial arts because they are rooted in other religions. I have found that people's prejudice are usually based on ignorance. As I said in the previous "Inner Self" we should take a little time each day to quietly reflect and search for our inner self. I have as much time as anyone else to do this. That's why Tai Chi is a good escape for me. Tai Chi doesn't focus as much on punching and kicking as other Arts. It focuses alot on the mental aspect with a little emphasis on the fighting aspect. Well, last night night at Tai Chi we went through a mental exercise that dealt with finding you within yourself. The exercise itself isn't as important as the end result, which is what I really want to talk about here.
As we began the exercise there was a period of deep breathing to relax and focus and once we began searching for the true person within, I personally felt a sense of sadness. It was weird, in a circumstance like that when you're not affected by outside influences and you are aware of true feelings and emotions, it will surprise you what you can find out about yourself. The question is, why the sad feelings? What was it about myself that I possibly didn't want to see as I looked inward? What was I going to have to fix once I saw it? Well, there were no clear cut hidden demons in my inner closet. I did however emerge from the meditation, I was reluctant to use the term for fear of freaking out the vast hardcore christians that would get the picture of sitting around chanting Buddhists chants, with a brighter outlook or perspective on life if you will. I was going to say more enlightened but I didn't want to push my luck.
The point is, although it can be scary to look, once we do search for our true self we come away pleasantly surprised. Possibly, hopefully having a better, more forgiving attitude toward those around us and the world in general. So remember, keep searching, any change we can make has to be for the better. Thanks for searching with me, Paul